GRAND FARTING COMPETITION
UNDER INTERNATIONAL RULES OF FARTING
TO BE HELD AT THE EAST GERMAN FARTING STADIUM
FART OFF: 19:30 Hours
FINAL FART: 21:00 Hours
- Former Farting Champion (all classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon.
- Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man.
Peter Pempslider - Who still holds the World Record Duration Fart for 9 seconds
after training on Pernod Duck Eggs and Mushy Peas).
called each competitor will step forward onto the raised platform and must lower his trousers, on the platform and not before.
will grip the Farting Post: Any grip is permitted, one hand or two.
a given signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart .
A SHIT IS IMMEDIATELY
GRADING: Dry farts, long tarts, wet farts, short farts,
alternating long and short farts, rip raps, bubbles, blobs and squeaks.
Judge will take into consideration quality of all farts strength, odour,
posture of competitor, and grip used, Cushion dusters, blanket rippers and
thunder claps are admissible. Echo chambers will NOT be allowed.
the final fart a demonstration will be given by the World Champion Farter, also a
runner up who came within one second of the 1991 World Championship but was
disqualified for SHITTING. The Thunder Box Farting Formation Team will then give a
display of Formation Farting.
audience are requested not to fart during the competition as this upsets the
drinking of alcohol and the eating of peanuts is not permitted during the
content as this causes the arse to quiver, which distorts the farts, giving a